


you and i, the next page two

by kyomohokus



Category: SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28002204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyomohokus/pseuds/kyomohokus
Summary: Maybe there's no such thing as the one. Maybe it's about making that special person the one.Alternatively, it took a fight on Christmas Eve, in one of the Christmas-y places in the world, for Kouchi and Jesse to come to a realization about them, and the future.
Relationships: Kouchi Yugo/Jesse Lewis, side Kyomoto Taiga/Tanaka Juri
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15
Collections: SixTONES Christmas/New Year Fic Exchange





	you and i, the next page two

**Author's Note:**

  * For [geeelatinnn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/geeelatinnn/gifts).



> To my recipient:
> 
> This is probably not exactly like your request, but I hope I got close and you still like it! 
> 
> The title is from the song [Johnny & June](https://open.spotify.com/track/4LEyBBJf5kMmTczJIe7ifS?si=o4xD1powTMKXKU7yDq64pg) by The Hadleys.

The Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center was already lit up, flashing different colors from the lights surrounding it up to the star on top of it. Somewhere, speakers blasted Christmas songs, causing some of the parkgoers to bust a move.

Kouchi was in Rockefeller Center, but he couldn’t find it in himself to break into dance. In fact, he looked miserable, the lone spoilsport in the area, sitting alone in one of the benches, hands in his face to prevent everyone from seeing that he had been sobbing there for the past few hours.

“Yugo?”

He looked up. Before him, Jesse was panting, his face flushed from running, no doubt. (Jesse shouldn’t be running, he thought. The streets were slippery, and he could have gotten into an accident.

(Despite the big arguments, Kouchi could never find it in him to be completely mad at Jesse.)

“How did you know I was here?” he croaked. He rubbed his eyes, hoping they didn’t look too swollen, but he knew Jesse would see through him.

“Because you said we would spend the last hours of Christmas Eve here.” Jesse’s eyes were equally glassy, and Kouchi was glad he wasn’t the only one thrown off by their big argument.

Jesse sat on the space next to him but did nothing else. They sat in silence, watching the rest of the people laughing, enjoying the rest of the hours before Christmas.

They would have been like that, too. Kouchi had dreamt of this these past few years—spending Christmas in one of the most Christmas-y places in the world, with Jesse right by his side.

If only the argument didn’t happen. If only it didn’t make Kouchi think twice about everything he believed in about relationships, about love.

About him and Jesse.

Jesse drew in a deep breath. “We need to talk.”

“I know.” Kouchi mimicked the way Jesse took in a deep breath, preparing himself for the worst.

_One month ago_

“You’re going to America?”

“Not so loud!” Kouchi hushed, muttering apologies to every person staring at them in the department store. He glared at Taiga, who didn’t seem to be bothered, instead lazily browsing through the rack of winter clothes for sale. “But yeah, Jesse asked if I wanted to visit his parents in Nevada, then we figured it would be nice to go to New York for Christmas week.”

“I see …” Taiga’s bright eyes have this glint that he recognized. It was the same glint in his friend’s eyes whenever he thought of an idea he thought was brilliant.

He sighed. “What are you thinking about?”

Taiga hummed, taking out a jacket for Kouchi to check. “Well, you guys haven’t flown out of the country together, right? And you haven’t met his parents? So this is a big step for you.”

Kouchi nodded slowly, taking the jacket, proceeding to the fitting room with Taiga in tow. “We’ve been on a lot of trips together, so I don’t think this is a big deal.”

“Sure …” Kouchi had already entered a stall in the fitting room, but he could tell that Taiga has a brow raised. “But the fact that he offered you to fly out of the country to visit his parents and then go to one of the best places in the world for Christmas could mean only one thing.”

“What?” Kouchi slid into the jacket and checked himself in the mirror. It was cozy and fit him well, but he wasn’t so sure about the style.

Taiga sighed. “Kouchi, I really thought you’re the smarter one in this friendship. He’s planning to propose!”

“What?” Kouchi’s voice went to an embarrassingly high pitch. He opened the door to the fitting room and stepped out, stretching out his arms. “What do you think?”

His friend scrunched his nose, holding out another jacket he was holding. “Try this one.”

“Anyway,” Kouchi said, closing the door once more. “You really think so?”

It wasn’t that it was a surprise to him. He and Jesse had been together for the past four years, and they’ve been living together for the past two years. They had casually thrown in conversations about the future, but nothing too serious.

But it wasn’t that he was cynical. He would say yes to Jesse if he did propose. He supposed he just never thought it would happen so soon.

There was a knock on the door. “Kouchi?” Taiga called. “Are you still checking your reflection on the mirror, or did you combust at the thought of the P-word?”

“Shut up.” Kouchi put on the coat and stepped out of the stall. He’ll think about the P-word some other time.

Kouchi could still remember the first day he and Jesse met, and he had to thank Taiga for that. His friend is so well-connected that he’s friends with almost everyone imaginable.

(In Kouchi’s case, he was under the team in charge of developing a marketing campaign for Taiga’s family business [“family business” is an understatement when said company runs one of the country’s biggest airlines]. And since they were the same age, they just clicked.)

Taiga and his boyfriend Juri usually hold this annual Halloween party in Taiga’s house, and everyone is practically invited as long as they wore a costume. Kouchi, having nothing to do, ended up doing the bare minimum zombie makeup and showing up, where he was served the most expensive drink he had ever downed in his life.

“Kouchi! I’d like to introduce you to my friends, Jesse and Shin! Jesse, Shin, this is Kouchi. He’s part of the team that works on our commercials.”

Jesse had a bright smile, making Kouchi completely ignore the fact that he was in Tweedledum costume with the Shintaro guy. “The commercials were great,” he said.

Kouchi would get that all the time, even if he was just one of the cogs to the entire mechanism. But there was something about Jesse’s compliment that made his face warm. “Thanks. I’m the video editor.”

Jesse’s eyes widened like a child learning something new. “That’s so cool!”

Kouchi would later find out that Jesse is a video game designer, which was cooler than his job. He would come to learn more about Jesse in future gatherings at Taiga’s house, wherein it was just the two of them talking and laughing about everything and nothing.

It would be six months into their first meeting for Jesse to ask Kouchi his number, and another week after that for Kouchi to ask Jesse out on a date.

“Are you okay?”

Jesse sort of jumped from where he was standing, his gloved hand gripping tighter on Kouchi’s to make sure he didn’t slip on the icy ground. “H-Huh?” he stammered. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re so awfully quiet today,” Kouchi pointed out, feeling the creases on his forehead. “Did you eat something bad at the diner?” The last thing he wanted was for Jesse to get sick, especially on Christmas Eve. They still had a lot more places to explore in New York.

Jesse gulped, pausing in his tracks. “Yeah, probably.”

“Do you need to sit for a bit?”

He shook his head. “I’ll be fine. And I’ll let you know if I start to feel worse, okay?”

Kouchi sighed. He’d been going out with Jesse for almost four years that he knew if something was up that Jesse wasn’t telling him. Usually, he would pry it out of Jesse, demand to know because Kouchi cares and he wants to help.

But that might blow up into a huge argument, and Kouchi didn’t want that. They were in New York, one of the most Christmas-y places in the world, and all he wanted to do is enjoy the holidays.

“Okay,” he said instead, lifting Jesse’s gloved hand and kissing its knuckle. “So, Macy’s?”

Sometimes Kouchi had wondered what Jesse had seen in him.

Jesse is bright, optimistic, friendly. He would step into a room and become the center of attention, the light of a lantern that attracts the most curious moths. He’d meet one person at a party then hang out with them for dinner the next day.

Meanwhile, Kouchi is … Kouchi.

Kouchi is plain; he’s not going to deny that. He likes football and riding his motorbike. He could eat _omurice_ for three meals straight. But he’s not Jesse. He could never hold a conversation long enough unless it’s with close friends. He couldn’t command a room or become the center of attention, even if he tried.

“He _adores_ you,” Hokuto, Jesse’s best friend, had told him.

It just so happened that their workplaces are close to each other, so they often hang out during lunch break or after work for a quick drink.

Hokuto had known Jesse since they were in high school, had been there for Jesse in his past relationships, and he knows Jesse as much as he knows himself. Kouchi could trust him.

But sometimes Kouchi would still wonder, go into the depths of his insecurities, and believe the demons in his head.

Hokuto snapped his fingers in front of him, bringing him back to reality. “I’m serious, Kouchi!” Hokuto said. He pauses to shove a spoonful of rice in his mouth. “I’ve never seen Jesse adore someone this much.”

“Not even with his exes?” Kouchi asked, his voice small.

Hokuto scoffed. “You’re important to him, Kouchi. You’ve been together for the past four years. So I think it would be nice to believe that you’re special in Jesse’s eyes.”

Kouchi arrived in their shared apartment to Jesse asleep on the couch, a can of beer on the table. Warmth filled his chest as the realization hit that Jesse had been waiting for him to come home.

“Hey,” he whispered, crouching down to kiss the top of Jesse’s head.

Jesse blinked awake, eyes droopy as he meets Kouchi’s gaze. “How long was I asleep?” he asked.

Kouchi shrugged, looking at the wall clock. “It’s almost midnight.”

“Dang, I was out for long?” Jesse sat up, stretching. “How was dinner with Hokuto?”

“The usual.” Kouchi took the empty can of beer and walked toward the trash bin. “How was work?”

Jesse pouted. “Sucked big time.”

Kouchi chuckled, almost startled when long arms wrap around him from behind. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

He felt Jesse shake his head on the crook of his shoulder. “Just wanna stay like this,” he mumbled.

“But you’re gonna sleep while standing.”

“Then you’re gonna have to drag me to the bedroom.”

Kouchi didn’t know how long they stayed like that, but he allowed himself to let Hokuto’s words sink in, to believe that Jesse saw something special in him that he hadn’t seen himself.

And for now, that was enough.

“Kouchi!!!!”

Kouchi was just getting the hang of balancing himself on ice skates when a pair of arms wrapped around his. He stumbled, but he managed to regain his balance, fortunately, because unlike the rink in Rockefeller Center, the one in Bryant Park didn’t have any railings.

“Stop making me fall!” Kouchi laughed, straightening his posture without shrugging off Jesse’s arms around his. “Jesse, we’ve skated together before. Shouldn’t you remember how to balance yourself?”

“Well, I’m not the best at it.” Jesse pouted. “Hold my hand?”

Kouchi grinned, slipping both of his hands into Jesse’s. “It’s not like I’m gonna say no.”

There were kids around the rink who could skate better than they do, but they couldn’t care less. Jesse would move cautiously, and Kouchi would look behind him, making sure they wouldn’t collide into anyone.

Eventually, they grew tired of it and decided to hang up their skates. There was a nearby hotdog stand, and they buy one and a soda to share, content with sitting on one of the benches.

Kouchi was content people-watching after almost an hour of ice skating (and failing). The best part about being in New York was that he could see all kinds of people, telling different types of stories.

And Kouchi could feel some sort of belongingness. Like that couple of men holding hands, the other man holding the hand of the child who called them “Papa.” That sort of felt familiar. Or at least, that was just him.

“You okay?”

Kouchi blinked, looking at Jesse, who was handing over the last bite of their hotdog sandwich. He smiled, taking the sandwich. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“About what?”

He pouted to point at the couple and the child before them. “They just looked so adorable,” he replied.

“Yeah, they do.” Jesse grinned. “Would be nice if that would be us in the future.”

His heart fluttered, just imagining him and Jesse _with a kid_. He knew that it wouldn’t be possible right now, given how they’re swamped with work (and _will_ be swamped by the time they return to Japan), but at least the promise is still there.

Taiga’s words suddenly weighed heavily in his mind. In a way, his best friend is right. There’s something about the change of circumstances that make Kouchi want to believe that maybe, just maybe, the question—and Kouchi’s inevitable answer—would be asked at this time.

“We should get a bigger house next time.”

They were lying on the bed, catching their breaths and basking on the afterglow of each other. Their apartment was still barely put together, boxes piled up instead of furniture organized in their proper places. But then again, it was their first day of moving in, and _christening_ the place was apparently more important than organizing their new home.

Not that he was complaining.

Jesse was looking at the ceiling with stars in his eyes that Kouchi’s breath gets caught in his throat. “Like an actual house?” he asked, throwing an arm around Jesse’s chest and closing his eyes.

“Yeah! Somewhere outside Tokyo.”

“Would be nice.” Kouchi’s eyes were drooping, feeling the dull ache all over his body. “We could finally own a dog.”

Jesse giggled. He had always wanted to own one, but their apartment didn’t allow pets. “A Labrador?” he asked.

“Aren’t you already one?”

“Yugooooo~” Jesse whined, pushing himself up on his elbows, and he was hovering over Kouchi within seconds.

His heart skipped. It had taken two years before Jesse could call him by his first name, and the way Jesse would say it would make Kouchi’s toes curl, warmth spreading throughout his body.

And, well, when Jesse would look at him like _that_ , he really couldn’t say no. Kouchi pouted. “Fine,” he sighed. “A Labrador.”

Jesse’s face brightened, lowering to kiss Kouchi, lips softly pressed against his. “I love you,” he said as he pulled away.

Kouchi melted, hand reaching for Jesse’s cheek, pulling him back. “I love you, too.”

It had been scary at first, saying it out loud. Even though it was clear that the two of them felt the same for each other, saying the words meant a shift in their relationship, from loving gestures into something more profound.

Once the words had been said, things didn’t always get easy. But Kouchi takes comfort in the fact that even if it didn’t, Jesse wouldn’t leave because he felt the same.

“Look, if you’re having a problem, why can’t you just say it?”

“Because of this! Because I’m gonna be explaining my side, and you’re gonna be defensive if it’s about you!”

“I’m not defensive!”

“You’re telling me now?”

“That’s not fair. Why do you keep seeing the worst in me?”

“And why do you keep seeing the worst in _me_?”

He could not believe that they were fighting outside the Chrysler Building, of all places. Several people stared at them but barely paid any attention. This must be a regular sight, but they couldn’t understand what Jesse and Kouchi were fighting about.

Maybe it was a good thing because Kouchi could not believe that they were arguing about something so minor. About Kouchi nitpicking something and Jesse getting so touchy about it. And they were fighting on Christmas Eve. In New York.

And Kouchi knew that no one is going to win this.

Jesse threw his hands up in the air, making a defeated sound. “That’s it. I’ve had it. Enjoy Christmas without me, Yugo.” He turned around and started walking away.

Panic settled in Kouchi’s entire being. “W-Wait, where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here,” Jesse said without looking back.

Kouchi remained standing there, staring at the path that Jesse took, feeling alone, wishing he could take back everything he had said and did.

“I’m sorry.”

Jesse reached for his hand, and Kouchi took it, intertwining their fingers as far as his gloved hand would allow. “I’m sorry, too.”

“I didn’t mean it, you know.” Jesse was looking at him with such sincerity that it filled Kouchi’s heart. “When I said I regretted it.”

“Me either.” Kouchi shifted closer because he missed Jesse’s warmth. “I know I have expectations. Lots of them. And I’m sorry if I put too much pressure on you.”

Jesse shook his head. “And I’m sorry if I never took a lot of things seriously.”

Kouchi sighed, shifting his view to the ice-skating rink, full of people of all ages enjoying the holidays. “I still want to be with you. For as long as you want me to. Because I don’t care if we have big arguments like this. Because I love you, Jesse.”

Jesse’s eyes were getting glassier by the second, at least, that was what Kouchi made out from his own blurry vision. He knelt in front of Kouchi, not letting go of his hand. He wasn’t sure if the cold was the source of Jesse’s trembling hand.

“I used to think that when you’re ready to be with someone, you have to look for the one,” Jesse started, his voice also shaking. “But these past few years with you … I realized I was wrong.”

His hand reached for something in his pocket, and Kouchi drew in a sharp breath. Is that what he thought it is?

“There’s no such thing as The One,” Jesse croaked, his gaze never wavering from Kouchi’s. “You meet someone, love someone, and you work hard to make him be the one. And that’s what I want to do, Yugo. I want you to be The One.”

At that, Jesse withdrew his other hand from his pocket, revealing a velvet box. He let go of Kouchi’s hand to pop the box open, revealing a ring.

It was happening. Kouchi’s head was spinning, but his world eventually stopped with a loud click, a bulb lighting above his head, the clarity that told him that, yes, he wanted this. He wanted to work hard, too, because he wanted Jesse to be The One.

“Kouchi Yugo, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” Kouchi answered almost immediately, his words coming out like a sob.

Jesse stood up, pulling Kouchi up to a hug. Kouchi clung to Jesse’s coat, the taller one brushing his lips on the top of Kouchi’s head.

He didn’t know how long they stayed in that embrace. When Jesse pulled away, tears have already formed in the edges of his eyes. Kouchi reached up and brushed the tears away with his thumb, Jesse leaning into his touch.

“Can I?” Jesse asked.

Kouchi nodded, trying not to cry again when Jesse opened the velvet box and took out the ring. He took Kouchi’s hand and slipped the ring in his ring finger, fitting snugly around it.

 _Perfect._ Just as how he feels right now.

It might not have been the most ideal Christmas Eve or the perfect proposal, but Kouchi had come to learn that as long as he’s with Jesse, maybe being not perfect all the time doesn’t seem so bad.

“What are you thinking about?” Jesse asked, pulling Kouchi close once more.

Kouchi smiled against Jesse’s chest. “Christmas isn’t so bad after all.”

Jesse laughed, kissing the top of Kouchi’s head. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”


End file.
